


One, Two, Three

by CllrNat



Series: Squairy Tales of Two Squirrels [1]
Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-12 21:27:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16879482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CllrNat/pseuds/CllrNat
Summary: Based on The Brothers Grimm’s Fairy Tales - One eye, Two eyes, Three eyesAdapted to fit The Tales of Squirena and Squernie





	1. Chapter 1

Once upon a time there was a freak show run and ruled over by a magically deformed squirrel named Squadrienne, she had given birth to 3 kitts; 2 of them grossly magical males and 1 an astoundingly beautiful, if you liked that sort of thing, red female. 

Obviously Squadrienne didn’t, how could she make a living off that. She shuddered just thinking she’d given birth to the monstrosity. 

She thought the little red female was the ugliest thing she had ever seen, ugly enough to hide her from their family of circus freaks. 

She had absolutely nothing wrong with her, not a hair or tuft out of place worst luck, she had 2 normal golden eyes, two not one or three but two more's the pity, aligned perfectly in that quaint little skull, not even a squint or a turn in it to contribute to the family’s magical horror.

She was the very first squirrel in the family in history to ruin their reputation. How could she be born so, bloody ……... normal.

They all lived together in harmony in the base of an old Oak tree on the very edge of the magical field, which was located on the edge of the road that led to the main city entrance. 

Travellers stopped to ogle at their deformities, thanking all the gods they knew that they didn’t have to endure the staring and pointing fingers of strangers judging them on their appearance and looks. Throwing coins at them out of pity.

Little did these stupid travellers notice that they were the ones to be pitied, looking like that. All perfectly symmetrical and nothing out of the ordinary to begin a conversation about. 

Squadrienne mused on what the heck they had to talk about.

Her kitts were a mixture of the usual squirrels colours of reds and greys; 

Number One had dark grey fur and was of a stocky stature, he was named Squarcus.  
Number Two had exquisitely silky soft, red fur with the bushiest tail, enormous ear tufts and a voluptuous body, she was named Squirena.  
Number Three had fine thinning, grey fur and a gangly body which was in total contrast to that of his brother and sister, he was named Squedward.

The family magic however, seemed to transfer from her to her kitts in a most unusual way.

Squarcus was devine, he was born as a squyclops, born with just one magical eye, Squirena was what you’d call normal and Squadrienne would shudder every time she had to look at her non-magical daughter with those two standard issue eyes and then finally her darling baby of the family, Squedward who despite looking like a starved runt had inherited the magical third eye and she was sure he’d become a powerful squage of squirrel magic.

Because she was a selfish and useless mother, who hadn’t really wanted kitts around she’d never truly learnt their names, couldn’t be bothered if truth be told, but she totally favoured the grotesque males over the lovely female, especially because Squirena was stunningly beautiful, sickeningly normal and was the pride of the local drey.

She hid her away from prying eyes telling her every day how vile she was to her sight, ‘you are no better than the common garden squirrels, with your two normal golden eyes; you don’t belong to us she spat with such venom in her tone.’

So they pushed her about, made her do all the crappy chores in the drey, threw all their off cast clothes to her for her to wear, what was the point in buying something like her decent clothes, she was never going to be seen in them, so it would just be wasteful of the limited family income.

Why didn’t she just run away and do them all a favour. She was a stigma to the fine name of Squgly. Some days she thought why didn’t she run away, then realised she couldn’t, she was chained to the tree. 

Each time she tried to mention it to her mother, she didn’t get much further because she’d get locked away for daring to let Squadrienne remember she’d birthed her.

She cooked all the household meals for them hopeful that they would one day speak to her but they would then make her stand and watch them all eat their fill and then they gave her only the broken nut bits that they left.

As usual the leftovers were all that was available for her to eat, and basically they did everything in their magical powers to make her life totally and utterly squiserable. 

It so happened that this day just like every other day, little two eyed Squirena was sent into the dandelion field with their pet squagonfly, Fleurticus to tend to their nut hoard.

She was often hungry, well very hungry actually, although her mother and brothers always had as much as they liked to eat.

This one sunny day she’d had enough of the treatment, so she seated herself on an old anthill in the field, and began to weep and cry so bitterly that two little rivulets flowed down from her golden eyes into the earth below, feeding the dried ground beneath her dainty feet her tears.

Once, in the midst of her squorrow she looked up, and saw a glorious glowing squirrel standing near to her who said, ‘what are you weeping for, little two eyes?’

‘I cannot help weeping Squadam,’ she replied, ‘just because I have two eyes, like all the other squirrels, my mother and brothers cannot bear the sight of me, they push me about from one corner of the drey to the other and make me wear their old clothes and give me nothing to eat except what is left over, so I am always hungry. Today I had barely a hazelnut and am nearly starving. Am i truly that horrible lady?’

‘Dry up those tears lovely Squirena, my little two eyed one,’ said the wise squirrel, as she leaned on her walking staff; I will tell you something to do which will prevent you from ever being hungry again.

‘You have only to say to your little Squagonfly Fleurticus:

“Little Fleurticus, if you’re able, please deck out my table,”

and immediately there will be a little table before you full of all sorts of yummy squirrel treats for you to eat, as much as you like. And when you have finished and eaten enough, and you do not want the table anymore, you need only say:

“Little Fleurticus, when you’re able, please remove my nice table.”

and it will vanish before your very eyes.’

Then the wise squirrel went away, telling her that all would be well very soon.

‘Now,’ thought little Squirena two eyes, ‘I will try it and see if what she says is true, for I am so very hungry,’ so she said:

Little Fleurticus, if you’re able, please deck out my table.”

The words were scarcely spoken, when a beautiful little table stood ready before her; it had a white cloth and plates, knives and forks, silver spoons and such a delicious dinner, a smoking hot nut roast as if it had just come from the kitchen.

Then little Squirena sat down and said the shortest grace she knew, to the Sky Squirrel and the strange Squadam — ‘Pray you be my guest for all time. Thank you. Amen’ — before she allowed herself to taste anything.

But oh, how she did enjoy this dinner with an acorn cup of Ruby Squiraz, and when she had finished, she said, as the wise squirrel had taught her:

“Little Fleurticus, when you’re able, please remove my nice table.”

In an instant the table and everything upon it had disappeared.

‘Well, that is a very pleasant way to keep house,’ said little Squirena two eyes, and felt more content and happy than she’d ever been.

In the evening when she went home with Fleurticus, she found an earthenware dish with some nut chips that her brothers had left for her, but she didn’t touch them. Silly not to really, but she is only little and had just had the very first decent meal of her exceedingly short and miserable life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They do everything they can to find out where Squirena gets her food. Once they find out devastation ensues for her.

Chapter 2

The next morning Squirena went away with Fleurticus, again leaving behind the untouched scraps that had been so begrudgingly left for her by the drey door, instead of throwing it away or taking it with her to get rid of.

The first and second times that she did this, neither her delightful brothers or mother noticed it; However, they aren’t quite as stupid as they looked, so when Squedward noticed that it was happening every day, he took great delight in squitching on her to their mum.

‘Something is happening, something strange and out of the ordinary. Squirena isn’t eating her supper. Every day for the past week she has wasted her food mama. She must be getting fed from somewhere else, she thinks she’s better than us refusing her food here.’

So together they all plotted together to the truth of the matter, agreeing to squy on her when she took Fleurticus out for the day. How dare she attempt to get food other than what they determine she deserves. They could be eating it,that was the point of the matter, they were all jealous that she may be getting something better than them. 

It was agreed or decided for him, that Squarcus One Eye would go with her to take notice of what she did, and try to discover if anyone brought her food or drink during her day.

So when Squirena Two Eyes told Fleurticus to get ready to go out, Squarcus One Eye informed her that he would be coming with her for the day, to make damn well sure the Squagonfly got her food properly while Squirena watched over the others.

But Squirena wasn’t as dim as the squidiot brother of hers thought and she knew exactly what they’d all plotted.

So she herded Fleurticus and the other squagonflies into the long grass for them to fly and feed, then she said to Squarcus:

‘Come Squarcus, let us sit down here and rest, then I will sing for you just as you like without the others hearing.’

Squirena knew that Squarcus loved to hear her singing, she had caught him listening to her on more than one occasion, but had never let on to anyone. She kept little tidbits secret for when she may need to use them.

Squarcus sat himself down, not being accustomed to walking so far, nor being out in the warmth of the sun, he began to feel extremely tired, so, as Squirena began to sing, he smiled. A sight she thought that made his squgly cyclopic face look far less grotesque, if that’s at all possible.

Soon she heard little grunts of contentment and realised he was now fast asleep.

As soon as she noted this, she knew that Squarcus could not betray her, so she walked away from him into the long grass, then said: 

“Little Fleurticus, if you’re able, please deck out my table.”

As soon as the food arrived, she seated herself and ate and drank very quickly, and as soon as she finished she said:

“Little Fleurticus, when you’re able, please remove my nice table.”

It vanished in the twinkling of one of her beautiful little eyes, and then Squirena woke up Squarcus telling him:

“Squarcus One Eye, you are a clever one to watch the Squagonflies while you slept, it was lucky I’d trained them not to fly away. Come on you, let’s go home.”

They made their way back to the house, where once again Squirena left her scraps untouched, but Squarcus could not tell his mother, Squadrienne whether Squirena had eaten or not because, and here he actually owned up to falling asleep after being sung to by Squirena.

The following day, Squadrienne said to Squedward Three Eyes:

“Boy, you must go out with the Squagonflies this time. You must find out whether Squirena has any admirers bringing her food. She must be eating in secret, especially if she isn’t eating what is left for her. The ungrateful harridan.”

‘I am going with you today, just to make sure the Squagonflies are properly cared for.’

Squirena sniggered at this while staring at his mean ferret looking face and that singular, decaying fang, almost leering at her as he spoke. She shuddered in squevulsion at seeing the thoughts cross his face.

If she wasn’t his sister, she would most definitely feel squnsafe.

However, Squirena knew his squepulsive mind and thoughts,so she stayed well on the footpath in view of anyone who was looking, until they approached an area that led into the long grass. Going this long way around to tire him out.

By the time they arrived he was squffing and squanting and the scent of cheap alcohol oozed from out of his fur. Squirena at last said to him:

“Let us sit down here and rest, and I will sing to you, Squedward Three Eyes.”

Squedward was glad to sit down, for the walk, the sun and his squangover had really tired him out; and, as his sister continued with her song, he was obliged to close two of his three eyes, and they slept, but not the third which was his magical eye.

In fact, Squedward Three Eyes was wide awake with the magical eye, he heard and saw everything that Squirena Two Eyes did; for poor little Squirena, thinking he was sound asleep, said her speech to Fleurticus directly in front of him, and the table came with all the good things on it, and was carried away when Squirena had eaten enough.

Cunning Squedward Three Eyes had seen it all with his one magical eye. But he pretended to be asleep when his sister came to wake him and told him she was going home.

That evening, when Squirena once again left the scraps set out for her, Squedward, quite maliciously announced to their mother:

“I know where the proud little thing gets her fine food and Squiraz;” and then he took the utmost glee in describing all he had seen in the field.

“I saw it all with my one magical eye “ he confirmed “for Squirena made my other two eyes close with her fine singing, but lucky for us my one in my forehead remained open.”

Squadrienne was fuming, her envy was legendary amongst the squgly freaks. She screeched a summons for Squirena to attend her now, the sound reverberated throughout the fields and some kindly folk worried for the kitts safety with a family like that.

“You wi..” she was so mad she could barely get words out. “You wish to have better food than we, do you.” She seethed through clenched teeth. “You shall now lose your wish!”

Squadrienne with great pleasure lifted a butchers knife, went outside, and stuck the knife directly into Fleurticus’ little heart, and she fell to the floor stone dead.

When Squirena Two Eyes saw what had happened to her beloved Squagonfly, she ran out into the field, but only as far as her chain would allow. She seated herself on the same anthill as before and wept the most bitter tears possible.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gift

Chapter 3

Presently, the wise squirrel stood once again before her, and asked, ‘Squirena Two Eyes, why do you weep dear kitt?’

‘Ah!’ She replied, ‘I must weep. My beautiful squagonfly, Fleurticus, who every day gave my table food thanks to your kindness, has just this moment been slaughtered by my beast of a mother, so once again I shall have to suffer hunger and sorrows.’

‘Squirena Two Eyes ‘ said the wise squirrel, ‘I will give you some good advice. Go home immediately and ask your brother to give you the inside of the slain squagonfly, then go and bury it straight away in the ground outside the drey door.’

Once she’d finished speaking she vanished instantly.

Squirena Two Eyes ran home as fast as her tired little paws would take her. Then said to her brother, ‘Squarcus, give me some part of Fleurticus. I don’t want anything valuable, just let me have the insides.’

Her mother and brothers laughed, that awful derisive sound she was so used to hearing from them all. Squadrienne then snarled:

‘Of course you may have that, as long as you don’t want anything else.’

So Squirena took the insides; and in the evening, when all was quiet, she buried it in the ground directly outside the drey door, just as the wise squirrel had directed her to do.

The following morning, when they all rose and looked out of the drey’s squindow, there stood the most wonderful tree, with leaves of pure squilver and apples of shining squold hanging between them.

Nothing in the whole wide world could be more beautiful or more costly. 

None of her greedy, rotten family knew how the tree came to be there in one night, apart from Squirena Two Eyes. She realised it had grown up from the insides of her darling Fleurticus, for it stood exactly where she had buried her remains in the earth.

Squadrienne then instructed Squarcus:

‘Climb up my beautiful kitt, and break off some of the fruits of the tree.’

Squarcus climbed up, but as soon as he tried to catch a branch and pluck one of the apples, it escaped from his hand, and this happened every time he attempted to get a fruit. It didn’t matter how he tried he was unable to reach one.

Squadrienne then instructed Squedward:

‘Climb up my darling kitt, and see what you can do; perhaps with three eyes you will be able to see better than one eye can.’

Squarcus slid down dejected at his mother’s tone and stared into the gloating eyes of Squedward. But he was no more skilful; with all his efforts he could not get a branch nor the fruit, near enough to pluck even a leaf. They sprang out of the way as soon as he reached out his paw.

Finally Squadrienne became impatient, she climbed up herself, but with no more success than her sons. As soon as she reached, her paw closed on thin air.

‘May I try mother?’ asked Squirena, ‘perhaps I may succeed.’

Squadrienne shuddered at the exquisite sound from that mouth, making her feel like someone was running their nails over a classroom writing board. 

‘You, indeed’, they all snorted out with contempt. ‘You, with your two eyes, what do you expect to achieve that we could not?’

But Squirena scurried up the tree, and the golden apples did not fly back from her when she reached her paw out to touch them. Surprisingly they almost laid themselves on her outstretched paw, and she plucked them one after another, until she carried down her own little armful.

Squadrienne immediately snatched them from her, and gave them to her brothers, saying Squirena did not handle them properly; this was due to pure spite and jealousy, because little Squirena Two Eyes was the only one who could reach the magical fruit.

So mean spirited Squadrienne stormed off into the dray feeling more spiteful towards her than ever.

It now happened that while all three siblings were standing under the tree together a gorgeous Cosmic White approached riding a magnificent Squagonfly of silver and gold, perfectly matching the fruits of the tree.

Squedward and Squarcus pushed Squirena roughly behind them hiding her from sight.

‘Run away, quick you squgly thing, hide your grotesquely deformed self Two Eyes.’ Shouts her scrawny Three Eyed Brother.

‘Quickly, hide yourself somewhere Squirena, for we will be quite ashamed for you to be seen by quite a charming Cosmic White,’ mutters Squarcus.

Then they pushed the poor squirrel under empty casks in their haste to hide her. The casks stood right by the tree and several of the golden apples she had plucked went with her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Squirena gets to meet Squernie

Chapter 4

As the Cosmic White flew closer on her Squagon, they saw it was an astonishingly handsome female, all proud in bearing and demeanour, wearing the armour of a Knight of the Wolfe, from the nearby Kingdom. 

She halted and gazed at the tree in wonder and amazement. The beautiful tree called out to her with its silver leaves and golden fruit. Her Squagonfly Squenrikson growled as it approached, sensing something was not quite right here. The Cosmic White removed a gauntlet and placed her paw tenderly on his head.

‘I know Squeny, I sense it too.’

At last she spoke to the brothers who stood trembling with fear before her.

‘Good morning, I am Squerenice or Squernie for short and would like to know who this beautiful tree belongs to?’

Squadrienne upon hearing strange voices outside strode confidently forward, pushing the boys roughly out of the way.

‘This tree belongs to me.’

Squernie looked down with a cold glare at the behaviour and manners of this mean spirited squirrel before her. Squenrikson made his wings hum in contempt, bringing a small smile to the Whites prominent face.

‘If a squirrel possessed only one branch of this tree, they might obtain all they wished for in the world.’

‘As I said, this tree belongs to me, and we will break off a branch for you if you like,’ good Knight. Squadrienne fawned all over the Cosmic White, making Squernie’s fur crawl.

She ordered the boys to get a branch immediately. 

However, they gave themselves a great deal of trouble in attempting to do as they offered. It failed at every attempt, for the branches and the fruit continued to evade their every effort to grasp them. Springing away from all their paws.

‘How wonderful ‘ exclaimed Squernie in her droll squarcasm. ‘That tree belongs to you yet none of you are able to gather even a branch for me. How peculiar!’

They continued to persist that the tree was actually their own property.

At that moment, little Squirena Two Eyes who was so angry at her mother and brothers lying to this beautiful Knight of the Wolfe, Squerenice caused two of the golden apples to slip out from under the barrel where she was hidden. 

They rolled out until they stopped just below Squenrikson and both Knight and Squagonfly watched until they ceased rolling. When Squernie saw them she asked quite astonished where they had come from, since none of them could get to them.

The two mean spirited brothers replied that they had a squgly sister, but their mother never let anyone see her because she was terribly deformed having only two eyes, like common people do not like magical folk, she was named Squirena Two Eyes.

Squadrienne gave them such an awful stare for daring to disclose their well guarded family secret. They cowered away from her in terror of any repercussions.

But Squernie was anxious to see her and called out in her tender voice:

‘Squirena Two Eyes, come here please.’

So astonished that someone had spoken so kindly to her, Squirena came out from amongst the barrels and Squernie was astonished at how beautiful she was. 

Breathless she asked:

‘Squirena Two Eyes, will you break off a branch of the tree, just for me please?’

‘Oh yes Ms Knight’ she responded, ‘I can, very easily, for this tree actually belongs to me.’

She climbs up, Squernie watching her quite tenderly, and without any trouble whatsoever, reached out a broke off a branch, complete with its silver leaves and golden apples and gently handed it to the Knight perched before her on her glorious Squagonfly.

Squirena carefully reached out and touched Squenrikson without thinking. He gently rested against her hand, Squernie noticing this interaction playing out before her.

She looked down lovingly at the little red caressing her Squagon and fell instantly in love.

‘Squirena Two Eyes, what shall I give you for this amazing gift?’

‘Oh dear a Knight, I suffer from abuse, thirst and hunger daily. Since I was born I have only known sorrow and trouble from early morning till late at night; if you would only take me with you and release me from these chains, I should be so happy.’

Squernie stared at Squadrienne who immediately nudged Squedward to unchain her. Much to her ire and seething inside she strode back into her dray, thinking at least she had the tree in exchange for getting rid of that embarrassment.

Squernie gently reached out and lifted Squirena up onto the back of her Squagonfly, and flew off with her back to her father’s castle in the giant Oak at the centre of the village over the hill.

Oh yes, I failed to say Squernie was actually Princess Squerenice Wolfe, legendary Cosmic White squirrel. Next in line to the throne.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As all Squairy Tales ever end.

Chapter 5

Once at the castle, Squirena was no longer called Two Eyes, because everyone here including Squernie had two eyes. This was what normal squirrels had, this was how normal squirrels lived.

She was given beautiful clothes to wear, no longer forced to wear cast off male attire. She had as much to eat and drink as she wished and as she grew older, the young Knight Princess Squerenice Wolfe loved her so dearly that they were married with great rejoicing. 

Cosmic White squirrels were unable to have kitts, so Squirena agreed to a one off coupling in order to provide an heir to the Kingdom. 

Now, when the two brothers saw Squirena Two Eyes being carried away by the beautiful strange Knight on the Squagonfly, they were delighted at their good fortune. Squadrienne was overjoyed with greed and excitement to have gotten rid of that monstrosity from their life.

Glad she would never have to set eyes on her ever again. She could focus on promoting their freak show without the hindrance of the most useless one of them all. 

‘That wonderful tree belongs to us now too, doesn’t it mother?’ asks Squedward, ‘even if we can’t break off any branches. Everyone who passes by will stop to admire it, and make acquaintance with us. We may become rich and famous. We may even get beautiful wives, eh Squarcus.’

As he nudges his brother with a lustful leer upon his mean spirited features. 

But, when they rose the next morning, lo and behold, the tree had vanished overnight. Along with all their hopes and dreams. 

From that day on Squadrienne became even meaner of spirit and was rarely seen without a squliff at her painted, tainted lips, until the day she died. Nobody cared and nobody attended her funeral.

This very same morning, when Squirena rose and looked out of her dray chamber window, she saw, to her immediate joy, that her little Fleurticus tree had followed her. 

That night she explained the sad story of the tree to Squernie, who now understood Squenrikson‘s reaction on approaching it when they first met. 

On the day of their wedding a wise old squirrel was seen walking around the tree and excitedly Squirena ran outside, hand in hand with Squernie, to greet her benefactor and Squairy God Squirrel.

She explained she was so happy to see that they had decided not to exploit the fruit of the tree and because of this she had a wedding present for Squirena.

As they stood there talking, they heard a commotion at the Squagon Stables and Squenrikson was singing with joy. They ran to see what was happening, only to find her very own Fleurticus being greeted by all the other squagonflies as if she was a long lost relative.

Squirena kissed the wise squirrel on the cheek just as she faded before them. Mouthing a Thank You to the world.

Squirena Wolfe (not Two Eyes), lived for a long time in great happiness with her Squerenice; but she heard nothing of her brothers, until one day two grotesquely deformed and destitute Male squirrels came to the castle, to beg for alms.

Squirena saw them, and, looking closely at them realised they were her very own brothers, who had become so poor they were forced to beg for food and clothes from door to door throughout the Kingdom.

But Squirena being such a lovely squirrel and Squernie being so happy and content received them, because it was not their fault Squadrienne behaved the way she did. 

They received them into the castle and promised to take care of them and find them work. 

For Squirena and Squernie grew up with kind natures.

They were so grateful they repented, yes even Squedward, and felt sorry for having treated her the way they had growing up. 

You see they only copied their mother, for them it was how they were nurtured. 

And they all lived happily ever after. 

The End.


End file.
